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← Part 2 | Part 3



It didn’t take him long to be outside of Matsumoto’s apartment.

He started knocking on his door forcefully, not caring about the hour. The man opened a few seconds later, still wearing the clothes from earlier. Sho took in the figure standing in front of him. Tall, thin, fashionable, with big, innocent eyes. So much like Aiba in some way, but so, so different.

“Sho-san?” Matsumoto gasped. “What are you doing here? Is everything okay?”

Sho let the man pull him inside. Once he was in, he snapped from his trance and took control of the hold, pushing Matsumoto against the door that had just closed behind them.

Sho looked in the man’s eyes. Surprise mixed with lust was swirling inside his gaze. He let his hot breath wander closer to Matsumoto’s lips, making him shiver with anticipation. Sho pinned him onto the door more firmly now, keeping him in place so he couldn’t move. Because he knew that if Matsumoto moved, if he took control, or if he hesitated, Sho would lose the courage to do what he came here to do.

One of his hands creeped up the man’s abdomen under his shirt, going up, up, up. Sho could feel the hot skin against the palm of his hand, the little shivers that were shaking the body in front of him, the heartbeats accelerating. This, Sho tried hard to convince himself, this feels right. Quickening heartbeats in the palm of his hands felt right. And never mind that they weren’t his. If Aiba’s heart couldn’t beat for him, if Aiba’s heart was still and unresponsive to his touches, why did Sho have to have a functioning heart at all? Why couldn’t Sho borrow his beats from Matsumoto—from Jun’s heart, so ready, so willing, so open?

Jun’s heart was as earnest as his body, as honest as his words, as pure as his love. There for the taking. Waiting for someone to take care of it. And why shouldn’t that someone be Sho? Sho could take care of his heart, now that he didn’t need to take care of his own anymore.

He didn’t think about it. He leaned in to catch Jun’s lips in repressed rage and desperation, and Jun met his kiss with love and adoration. And it was wrong, but Sho didn’t care.

He knew no one else but Aiba would ever feel right ever again.


↢ ♥ ↣


Sho woke up the next morning buried in a heap of sheets. He disentangled himself quickly and sat up on the bed with a sigh.

“How are you feeling?” Jun’s voice asked.

Sho looked up and saw him coming in the bedroom with a tray in his hands.

He made a weak sound in reply and patted the sheets, smoothing the wrinkles, just to have something to do with his hands.

Jun sat down on the bed next to him and placed the tray on his lap. There was orange juice, omurice and grilled eels on it. Sho couldn’t help but feel a tinge of happiness when he saw all that.

Jun made a gesture with his hand to indicate that he could eat, and Sho gave him a thankful nod. He took a bite out of his omurice and felt better already.

“So good,” he said between mouthfuls.

Jun smiled at him. “I’m glad you like it, Sho-san. Making food for you is great. You’re always eating with such gusto.”

They stood in silence while Sho ate his breakfast, making noises of appreciation every once in a while. When he was finished, Jun took the tray and brought it to the kitchen, where Sho quickly followed.

“So,” Jun started when he had placed the dishes in the sink. “Last night was… intense.”

Sho let himself fall into the nearest chair and nodded guiltily.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Jun asked, carefully measuring his words.

Sho sighed. “I like you, Jun-kun, really.”

“And I like you,” Jun replied.

“But…” Sho’s words died in his throat.

He couldn’t look at Jun. Not when he had come in the night before and had kissed him like that one second and had ended up crying all over his chest the other. He felt like a jerk. Jun was willing to give him his heart, and Sho had gone to him with his own broken one, asking him to put back the pieces together when it wasn’t his fault that it was shattered in the first place. And Jun had taken Sho’s pain, and his hand, and had let him sleep on his bed, hugging him the whole night, never forcing him to talk. Just letting him cry. Being there for him, asking for nothing in return.

“But this isn’t working,” Jun finished his sentence for him.

Sho nodded again. He cared about Jun, he did. But Jun wasn’t Aiba. He knew he couldn’t have Aiba, but was it fair to keep Jun when he wasn’t his first choice?

“Just do me a favor,” Jun said, interrupting his thoughts.

Sho looked up. “Anything,” he said, and he meant it. He would do anything to repay Jun for his kindness bit by bit. He would take care of his heart one way or another.

“Please, be happy.”

Sho felt at a loss for words. He didn’t need to ask Jun to know what he meant by that. Those unspoken words were written in the space between them, hovering over them since that first day they laid eyes on each other, a constant reminder of where Sho’s heart truly lied.

With him.

Sho looked at Jun with all the honesty and seriousness he could gather in one glance. “I will,” he vowed.

Jun seemed relieved. There was no resentment in his eyes. Maybe he had accepted it even before Sho did. Maybe he had known even before Sho realized it himself.

“You too, Jun-kun,” he said, and the other man flashed him a smile.

Maybe we could still be friends, Sho thought, remembering Aiba’s words. ‘Numbers are just that: numbers. You can’t define any form of love.’

His heart gave him a contented hum, agreeing wholeheartedly with his brain for once.


↢ ♥ ↣


Sho opened the door to his apartment with the memories from the night before replaying in his head.

Aiba talking to someone about him. Aiba saying their kiss felt wrong. Aiba not loving him. Sho still loving Aiba despite everything. Sho still feeling like they belonged together. Sho still feeling like it didn’t matter if Aiba didn’t have a heart, because Sho had enough for both, Sho would share his heart and keep just half if it meant that Aiba could get one as well.

“I’m home,” he whispered in the entrance.

Aiba was in the living room where he had left him. He was sitting on the floor now, his notebook in his shaking hands, looking at Jun’s profile on Sho’s relationships page. Sho could see a flash of numbers writing themselves on the paper.

Chances at love: 2%
Chances at friendship: 91%


Sho smiled a little to himself. If anyone could beat all the odds, that would be him. That’s what Aiba had told him once. And so Sho did. And he would again.

With him.

His steps alerted Aiba of his presence. The god stood up and looked at him.

“What did you do?” Aiba’s voice sounded hurt.

Sho shook his head. “I’m sorry. We weren’t meant to be together.”

Aiba didn’t seem to understand. “But the poem…” he whispered. “You can’t fake a love like that.”

Sho looked at him intensely. “I never faked anything.”

He saw the god’s eyes sparkle with a hint of realization. Sho held out his hand to lace their fingers together.

When their fingers brushed against each others, Aiba gasped visibly and pulled away as if he had been burnt. In the time of a split second, his shocked expression disappeared to make way to a nervous smile.

“It’s okay!” Aiba said in an over-excited voice. “I will help you fix it! I will get you back to Matsumoto-san in no time!”

“Aiba,” Sho said, calmly.

The god ignored him and started flipping the pages of his notebook. “It’s just a misunderstanding, Sho-chan, we can fix it.”

“Aiba.” His fingers twitched, wanting to hold Aiba’s at last.

“Matsumoto-san loves lilies, right? We’ll send him a bouquet with a note and then—”

“Stop it!” Sho yelled.

Aiba closed his eyes and his lower lip trembled. “Don’t, Sho-chan. Just… don’t.”

Sho grabbed Aiba’s wrists. Neither seemed to care when they heard the notebook falling on the floor with a thump.

“Why?” Sho’s voice almost cracked. “I thought you were supposed to help me look for love?”

All they could hear for a while were ragged breaths. Sho looked into Aiba’s eyes, scanning his face for an answer. Aiba stared right back at him, but didn’t say anything. The silence stretched out their distance, cutting Sho’s heart with poisonous scratches. Every unspoken word weighed on his soul, killing him bit by bit. His grip on Aiba’s wrists tightened, afraid to let go, holding on to a flicker thread of hope that was starting to deteriorate. He was desperate for a reaction, any reaction. Didn’t Aiba love him too? Did their kiss really not mean anything to him?

But then again, he had felt it.

When their lips had touched, he had felt completely happy, completely safe. Didn’t Aiba feel the same too? Didn’t Aiba see that they were destined to be together? Didn’t Aiba believe that he, Sho, was his true love?

‘No,’ said the voice in his head.

Aiba had thought that their kiss felt wrong.

But he wasn’t saying that to him now. Not with words, not with gestures. And Sho couldn’t take the silence any more. The more time passed, the more he felt his breath hitch with desperation.

He looked up at Aiba’s eyes again, pleading him with his own. When even that didn’t rouse an answer from him, Sho felt his anger boil in his chest. With a grunt of desperation, he pulled on Aiba’s wrists to smash their mouths together.

Their lips clashed together, and both of them pulled away immediately with a painful groan. But Sho didn’t let that discourage him. He pressed his lips on Aiba’s again, this time gently, with care, but with all the possessiveness he was feeling.

And there it was again.

The fireworks, the violins, the angels, the dizziness, the sparks. His lips fit on Aiba’s completely. Like two pieces of a puzzle. Like they were made in pairs. Like they were meant to belong together. Soul calling to soul, finally reunited.

He couldn’t believe that Aiba didn’t feel the same. That he didn’t felt the electricity running through his body, the little butterflies in his stomach, the way time seemed to stop in that moment, the way Sho’s heart was screaming with every beat that yes, yes, yes, it wanted--

‘This.’

‘You.’

‘Us.’

‘Here.’

‘Now.’

‘Forever.’


Sho reluctantly let go of Aiba’s wrists to allow his fingers to explore his face. He gently caressed his cheek, while using the other hand to push on Aiba’s nape. He thought his heart would explode when he felt Aiba respond to the kiss, the god’s hands slipping around his waist to bring himself closer.

Aiba’s tongue licked at his lips, and Sho let it in with no hesitation, welcoming it, wanting it, yearning for it. He tasted the god right away, feeling the hotness of their kiss intensify. Aiba tasted like his favorite things: yakiniku, whiskey, and clams. If Sho had to define it, he would have said that Aiba tasted just right. That Aiba tasted perfect.

If there was any hesitation in Aiba’s mind when they started kissing, there surely wasn’t any now. The god hungrily attacked Sho’s mouth till they were both making satisfied noises into their kiss. Sho’s hands were now sliding down Aiba’s back, while Aiba’s where already moving under his shirt on his chest. Sho almost bit the other’s tongue when he felt one of his nipples harden against the god’s hand.

Sho let his lips move away from Aiba’s, brushing his lips on Aiba’s jaw instead, moving slowly on his neck, his breathing catching, his blood pumping loudly in his ear, his heart rushing. He reached under Aiba’s shirt, almost expecting twin heartbeats racing in his chest, but he noticed with a tinge of disappointment that that wasn’t the case.

But he didn’t let that stop him. On the contrary, he just felt more compelled to tighten his embrace, to love Aiba even more desperately.

He felt the god tug at his shirt, and he let him take it off. He felt Aiba’s fingers trace his stomach, and he felt a pull in his lower abdomen. His kisses became hungrier as Aiba’s touches became bolder.

They found themselves on the bed, Sho hovering over Aiba, pulling his jacket and his shirt out of the way so he could finally kiss him all over his body. The clothes made a dull noise when they fell on the floor. At the same time Aiba let out a soft moan as Sho kissed and licked every inch of his neck. He trailed down with his tongue and stopped at his shoulder, where a large red spot was coloring his left side. Sho looked at the mark mesmerized for a few seconds before Aiba required his attention to shift much much lower, where he was fumbling with his belt.

He never knew how he had survived until now, without the feeling of Aiba in his embrace, Aiba on his lips, Aiba around himself, Aiba in his heart. Their hands looked for one another, holding tight, while their lips met halfway, every moan dying on their tongues. Sho panted hard as he felt their movements quicken, a mouth sucking on his neck, hands pulling him closer, whispers telling him ‘there, harder, yes, yes, yes.’

He swallowed Aiba’s moans in his kisses while his hand moved between them, touching him so they could reach the peak together. Aiba screamed his name first, digging his nails in Sho’s back. Sho’s loud ‘Masaki’ came a second later, making him collapse in Aiba’s embrace, panting in the curve of his neck, refusing to abandon his body yet.

He wasn’t sure how long it passed before Aiba pushed him gently so they could lie side by side.

“Sho,” Aiba said, looking him in the eyes intensely. “I’m sorry, Sho,” he whispered.

He pressed their foreheads together, his hands shaking over Sho’s chest.

“Masaki? What’s wrong?” Sho caressed Aiba’s naked side. “I’m here. I will never let you go now that I’ve got you.”

Aiba smiled sadly. “I’m sorry,” he repeated. “I—I can feel it.”

Sho looked at him, confused. “What can you feel, Masaki?”

“It’s wrong. Something is wrong.” He closed his eyes in a pained expression, and Sho started to panic.

Aiba placed a hand over Sho’s heart and felt his erratic beats. “Just remember,” he said. “This is important. Never give up on love.”

Sho opened his mouth to talk, but Aiba stopped him with a kiss. Sho responded to the eagerness with his own, letting Aiba pull him closer, grabbing Aiba’s waist and pushing their bodies together.

They pulled apart after a while. Aiba cupped his face and breathed in the air from Sho’s breath before letting out a whisper.

“I love you.”

But Sho could never say it back, because as soon as he heard those words, Aiba vanished.


↢ ♥ ↣


Sho didn’t think he would get through the first day, let alone the first month.

Fortunately, a big project had just been sent his way, and he was in charge of it. He had so much on his plate that he couldn’t allow himself to think about anything else. He took his files home so he didn’t have any free moments to think about Aiba, or to think about how happy he had felt when they finally were together. He worked non-stop, ate when he remembered it, and slept the bare minimum.

Things with Jun weren’t as bad as he thought they would be. He had hoped he would be mature enough to still maintain a good work relationship with him, but Jun went beyond that. He still cared for him, even though he admitted that his affection had turned more into friendly admiration than anything, and still brought him coffee or waited for him at lunch break so they could eat together. Jun never asked him about his love life, but had told him again and again that he was there for him if he needed someone to talk to, or a shoulder to cry on. Sho never regretted how things turned out between them. He loved having him as a friend.

Things with Nino were looking up as well. When he had called one night to check up on him and ask him how things with the ‘cupid guy’ were going, he probably didn’t expect Sho to start sobbing in the receiver. He had showed up at his house with cheesecake from Sho’s favorite bakery (“The price they sell these for, you’d think they’re made of gold!”) and they had snickered and bickered like the old times when they were still the best of friends. They had since reinstated their game night, and Sho went back to having his ass kicked every Saturday.

He still dreamt of holding Aiba in his hands, but every dream turned into a nightmare, with Aiba being dragged away by invisible hands, or sometimes by another version of Aiba himself. Sometimes Sho ran after him, and a voice laughed evilly, mocking him and making him fall with every step. Sometimes he found Aiba again, but when he kissed him, he vanished in his embrace. Sho always woke up screaming and drenched in sweat. Not even sleeping pills helped sometimes.

“Have you ever tried repeating what you did the first time?” Nino suggested one night.

Sho’s cart screeched as he pulled the levers on his joystick to avoid a bomb Nino had thrown at him. On the screen Crash Bandicoot’s archenemy, Dr. Cortex, let out an evil laugh when he dodged and bumped Nino’s cart with his.

“I haven’t,” he said. “But I already told you, it was my birthday then. And I think he would have come if he was still…” His words died in his throat.

Nino clicked on his joystick, making his character, Coco, accelerate and let out a confident laugh. He made her jump over the bridge and aimed for the shortcut. A little behind him, Sho was having trouble with the AI that kept pushing him off track.

“You should try anyway,” his friend said. “Isn’t that how it works in those ridiculous romantic movies you like so much? The princess makes a wish and her fairy godmother appears.”

“I’m not a princess,” Sho whined. “And he’s not a fairy godmother.” He groaned as Nino crossed the finish line. “And those movies are stupid,” he added.

Nino turned around. “Who are you and what have you done to Sakurai Sho?”

Sho tried to slap him, but Nino dodged it. He pushed his glasses up his nose and continued. “No, really, you’re the most stupidly romantic person I know. You have a box in your closet filled with cheesy poems.”

Sho blushed. “You know about that?”

Nino rolled his eyes. “Of course I do, but that’s not the point,” he said. “The point is, you love those ridiculous movies. You would sell your soul to have Mr. Darcy knock at your door tomorrow.”

“Nino!” Sho flushed, recognizing something. “Did you read my poems!?”

“I did,” Nino admitted, unashamed. “And I also found your last one when I used your tablet last week.”

Sho looked away. He couldn’t stand Nino’s look right now. He had read that poem so many times, thinking about Aiba’s look when he had told him it was beautiful. And then later, when Aiba had understood that those feelings were meant to reach him. He felt his heart being ripped out of him again.

“I called the bakery,” Nino said. “And asked them to make you another cake by next week.” Sho looked at him questioningly. “You never know,” he shrugged.


↢ ♥ ↣


Sho came back that Wednesday with a whole birthday cake and a bottle of sake. He repeated everything he had done the first time, down to the coffee, the drinking and the drunken wishes. When he fell asleep he dreamed of Aiba, and for once the dream didn’t end up in a nightmare.

When he woke up the next morning, he didn’t dare to open his eyes. His breathing accelerated, and he let his hand move across the bed, hoping to find somebody there. His heart sank when he touched the empty sheets.

“Good morning,” a voice said suddenly.

Sho’s eyes shot open to see a sleepy looking guy in front of him. He was wearing a grey suit, and on the right side of his jacket, in red, was written one of the Japanese words for love – Koi.

“Who are you?” Sho asked, even though he already imagined the answer.

The man bowed. “I’m Ohno Satoshi. I’m here to help you find love.”

Sho clenched his fists. “Where’s Aiba?”

Ohno didn’t look at him. “Aiba-san couldn’t do this job any more, Sakurai-san.”

Sho shook his head. “He did his job perfectly. I found love again. Where is he? Please, let me see him,” he pleaded.

Ohno’s eyes were filled with sympathy when he found his gaze. “I’m sorry, Sakurai-san. Aiba-san wasn’t supposed to fall in love with you. He’s broken the most important rule, therefore he’s been recycled.” His eyes turned expressionless again.

Sho’s heart missed a beat. “R—recycled?” He stood up and run to Ohno, putting his hands on his shoulders. “What do you mean recycled?”

Ohno seemed unfazed. “He’s been stripped of all his powers and terminated. All of his charges were assigned to me. That includes you, Sakurai-san,” he added, bowing his head a little.

Sho stared at him speechlessly. He felt the tears well up in his eyes. Even after a month had passed without hearing from him, there was a little hope inside of him that Aiba was going to come back to him one day. Hearing those words deepened the wound inside his heart. Aiba wasn’t going to be there anymore. He wasn’t going to smile at him. Sho was really alone now.

Ohno smiled tentatively. He produced a blue notebook from his pockets. “I’ve always liked Aiba-san, but his methods were a little… unorthodox. He liked to pair people up based on a hunch instead of numbers. I see here that you and your last boyfriend, Matsumoto-san, had an initial compatibility of 86%. That was good, but of course now the numbers are different, so we couldn’t get you together even if we wanted to. Don’t worry, Sakurai-san, you’re in good hands. I will find you a better match.”

Sho shook his head and let himself fall back on the bed. “I don’t want that.”

Ohno blinked in confusion. “I was under the impression that you had wished to find love, Sakurai-san.” He turned the pages of his notebook. “Here, it says that on the day of your 35th birthday you wished for true love.”

Sho felt a tear come down his cheek. “Yeah, I did. And now he’s gone.”

Ohno sat beside him on the bed. Sho didn’t turn around. He just covered his face with his hands and tried not to think about Aiba. Aiba, who didn’t appear when he woke up. Aiba, who wasn’t giggling in his ear calling him ‘Sho-chan.’ Aiba, whose smell still lingered in his memory, and whose warm lips he could still feel on his if he concentrated hard enough.

“I really am sorry, Sakurai-san,” Ohno said after a while.

Sho heard him stand up.

“But do you think he would be happy to see you suffer? To see you give up on love?”

Aiba’s voice echoed in Sho’s head. ‘You said you wanted to give up on love… I can’t let you do that… Just remember… This is important… Never give up on love…’

“You called out to me yesterday. You asked to find love again. Will you trust me, Sakurai-san?”

Sho looked up. He suddenly remembered something.

“Koi-san…” he said, pointing at the god’s jacket. “Are you Aiba’s friend?” he asked, thinking back to that time he had found Aiba talking to someone he couldn’t see.

Ohno nodded. “I’m sure he told you, but love gods don’t have a heart. Yet it killed him to see you with Matsumoto-san. He had hoped to do his job and get as far away from you as possible, but you wouldn’t send him away.” The god sighed. “I told him to be careful, but it was too late. Something had already happened to him.”

Sho bit his lip. “He said something felt wrong. When we kissed the first time, and then when we spent the night together.”

“Even without a heart, love gods can feel human emotions like happiness, sadness, fear, and so on. The only thing we can’t do is to form any type of bonds, like love or friendship, for example. But something happened when the two of you came together. The more time Aiba-san spent on earth, the more his feelings started to grow. When I had told him to be careful, it was already too late for him. By that time, Aiba-san had already started to feel something for you, and his body had started to change.” He pointed at his left shoulder. “Did he have a red spot on his shoulder, here?”

Sho nodded.

“That’s what happens when a love god feels love,” Ohno explained. “Without a heart, love marks itself on the skin quite literally. He told me it was just a spot as small as a freckle at first, but it grew. And when you kissed him that first time, something else started to happen: you awakened something that wasn’t supposed to be there.”

Sho’s breathing hitched. “His heart?” he asked.

Ohno nodded. “He felt a heartbeat. That’s why he thought something was wrong. Love gods need to be impartial and cold, we need to evaluate the numbers and find the best match. We can’t let feelings get in our way. So the moment his heart started beating, he was not fit to be a love god anymore,” he concluded.

Sho didn’t know what to say. If he hadn’t fallen in love with Aiba, if he had sent him away after he had found him a match, he would still be alive now. If he hadn’t been so selfish… maybe Aiba wouldn’t be his, but he would still be out there.

“Please, Sakurai-san,” the god interrupted his thoughts. “Trust me. Trust Aiba-san’s words. Don’t give up on love.”

Ohno extended a hand in his direction and looked at him expectantly. Sho felt numb all of a sudden. Didn’t the god just tell him that it was his fault that Aiba was gone? How could he forgive himself, knowing that? How could he take Ohno’s hand now, and accept his help? Did he even deserve love?

Trust Aiba’s words, the god had said. And Aiba had said it was important that he’d remember to never give up on love.

He stood up, took Ohno’s hand and closed his eyes.

In his mind, Aiba’s smile was all he could see.


↢ ♥ ↣


When he opened his eyes he was standing in front of a temple.

The wind blew in his hair and played with it. There were people chatting around him, but they didn’t seem to have noticed two strange men appearing from nowhere. Sho turned around to ask Ohno what was happening, and that’s when his heart leapt to his throat.

“Masaki!” he exclaimed.

Without wasting another second, they both fell into each other’s embrace. Sho stuffed his face into the crook of Aiba’s neck, inhaling his scent. He didn’t care about what the people walking by must think, seeing two guys hugging each other like that. He needed to hold on to Aiba as life depended on it. In fact, he believed it did.

“Masaki...” he sobbed in his neck.

Aiba giggled in his ear. “I’m back, Sho-chan,” he whispered.

“Welcome home,” Sho replied, tightening his grip.

He placed a small kiss on the exposed skin, not even wondering if people would be able to see that. But the moment his lips touched the side of Aiba’s neck, he pulled back in surprise.

“What?” he murmured in shock.

Aiba looked at him happily and took one of his hands. “Sho-chan,” he said, placing Sho’s hand on his chest. “I love you.”

Sho’s fingers tensed over Aiba’s body. There, where he had once felt emptiness, Aiba’s heart was pumping at full rhythm, keeping in time with Sho’s own heartbeats, almost as if the both of them were beating in unison.

“Your heart...”

Aiba shook his head. “Your heart, Sho-chan. It’s always been yours.”

“But I thought you didn’t-- you couldn’t--”

Aiba smiled. “I’m not a love god anymore. It’s… weird,” he said with a giggle.

Ohno cleared his throat. Having forgotten about him completely, Sho jumped at the noise. Both he and Aiba looked at him.

He pulled out his blue notebook from his suit and flipped the pages. He reached Sho’s relationship page and showed them the last entry.

Aiba Masaki. 34. In a relationship. No occupation status available.

Chances at love: 100%
Chances at friendship: 98%


Sho’s eyes widened. He felt Aiba pull on his hand and all he could do to stop himself from crying was to hug him again.

“I knew you would beat all the odds,” Aiba whispered in his ear.

Sho nodded, and tightened his arms around him.

“I think my work here is done,” Ohno said. When they turned, they saw he was looking at them with a genuine smile. “There’s only one thing left to do. Sakurai-san,” he said to Sho solemnly. “Are you happy?”

Sho looked at Aiba and squeezed his hand. “Hell, yeah.”

We are,” Aiba said, nudging him lightly with his shoulder.

Ohno nodded. He reached out to place a hand on both Aiba’s and Sho’s chest, his palms extending over their hearts. He closed his eyes and mouthed something. Sho felt unbelievably warm for a second, and Ohno let go.

The god smiled again, this time more brightly. “True love,” he whispered at last, visibly touched. “I’m so happy for you, Aiba-chan.”

“Thank you, Oh-chan. Ah!” he said suddenly. “I almost forgot.” He bowed his head a little. “Ai-san,” he said with his failed wink.

Ohno laughed. The two of them looked at each other with a fond expression for another second, then the god bowed to the couple, and when he started to lift his head, he was already gone.


↢ ♥ ↣


As soon as they got home, he felt Aiba pushing him to the wall in the halls to kiss him. Sho gave in merrily, wrapping his hands around him and pulling him closer. He could feel the other man’s heart beating strongly against his chest, and that made him smile in the kiss.

Aiba pulled away after a minute, and they stood there looking at each other. Sho wanted to kiss him again, to feel his body anew, but at the same time, he felt contented just staying like that. He had Aiba now, and he would never let go.

“This feels…” Aiba stopped, looking for a way to describe it.

Sho bit his lip and gulped. He remembered the first time he heard Aiba talk about their kiss. How it felt. Was he feeling the same now?

“Wrong?” He asked, unsure.

Aiba smiled and shook his head. “It feels right, Sho.”

Sho took a deep breath. Aiba took his face in his hands and kissed him again, full of passion. Sho let his hand slip under his shirt, caressing him, but broke away from the kiss immediately to pull Aiba to his bedroom.

Without a word, he pecked his lips and pulled off his shirt, making him lay on the bed and getting on his knees so he could stand over him.

He took his time. Their first night together had been rushed and desperate, and all he could remember was a moment of intense joy that disappeared all too soon. He wanted to make Aiba feel loved this time. He wanted to love Aiba fully this time.

He traced his fingers on his lover’s bare chest. On the left side, a little scar that hadn’t been there before was now carved right where his heart was. He brushed over it, and placed a kiss there. That little imperfection was the thing that made him perfect to his eyes. Aiba looked at him a little uncertain. He lowered his gaze, clinging to Sho’s shirt with neediness. Sho kissed his forehead and caressed his cheek.

“You’re beautiful,” he said. His fingers draped over the large red spot on his shoulder. He pressed his lips there, covering the entire area. “So beautiful,” he repeated with every kiss.

Making love to Aiba when he was human was different, but, yet again, the same. He was still passionate, still needy, still loving. He still felt like his better half, and Sho felt completed being with him. But every kiss made his heart beat, every touch made it stop before rushing again. Sho could feel every beat in his kiss, in his hands, in his own heart. He felt like he was truly Aiba’s, and that Aiba was truly his.

They laid in silence for a while afterwards. Sho was quietly listening to the drumming in his lover’s chest, taking note of every little change when their hands brushed and his heart hummed contentedly, or when Aiba pressed his lips on his head and his heart slowed down and took longer beats.

“Sho-chan,” Aiba said.

Sho hummed with his eyes closed. Aiba’s heartbeats were making him feel peaceful and calm.

“Will you read it to me? Your poem?”

Sho looked up at him. Aiba looked back with a curious look on his face, but this time Sho knew how to read it. Despite knowing they were soulmates, Aiba still felt guilty and insecure about their connection. Sho wasn’t mad, he knew it must be difficult for him too, and even more so, since Aiba had never been human before.

He placed a kiss on his lover’s scar, and got up. He opened the drawer of his desk, and pulled out the poem he had handwritten for Aiba. He got back to bed and sat with his back on the headboard. Aiba nested closely to him, and he wrapped one arm around him before he started reading:

Counting time     in
freckles written     on
skin     in
fairytales drawn     on
bones     while

Lacing souls     with
trembling fingers     weaving
promises     with
hungry tongues     battling

Longing     for
bliss     that
comes     from
heated lips     rushing
finding their way     to
eager breaths and     you

Swallowing     hesitation
hiding     in
tender glances     reddening
cheeks     in
scarlet buds     maddening
thoughts     in
restless abandon     and

Losing     but
winning     as
burning brushes
carve     the
path to     a
beat
rousing     your
heart     my
heart     with
smoldering sparks


He finished with a strangled sob in his throat. Everything was poured in those words. His doubts, his love, his desire, his pain. He hoped Aiba could feel everything he had wanted to tell him with those words.

His lover took the paper from his hand and looked at him in the eyes before kissing him.

“Thank you,” he said when they broke apart. He was smiling, and Sho could see that his insecurity was gone.

“What now?” Sho asked.

There were so many things that had changed now. Aiba would have to find a job. They would have to make up some reason why he had no family. They would have to make up a story for their first meeting, and one for their first kiss. They had to learn to love each other all over again, and he had to let Aiba find himself without him, have his friends and a life alone as well as life with him. There were a million things they had to think about.

He could see in his eyes that Aiba was thinking the same thing. But there was no concern in the way he looked at him. Instead, he let his eyes widen in fake innocence. “I seem to remember something about a favorite position of yours?” he said with nonchalance.

Sho grinned as he leaned in for a kiss.

He had time to figure it out, he thought. He would spend the day in Aiba’s arms and that night too. And then he would spend the rest of his life trying to figure it out.

He had time now. And Aiba by his side every step of the way.

He was happy.
 

Of Wishes, Gods, and True Love | Next →
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Rolling Days

About

Disclaimer: I don't own Arashi.
It's them who own my Soul! Soul!

Fics list (please see the masterpost for details):

~ {Ravenclaw AU} Out Loud
~ Backstage Sex (Pun Intended)
~ Ficlets batch #1 [ 1 & 2 ]
~ Amore [ 1 | 1.5 ]
~ Paradox
~ The Only Exception
~ Boy/friend?
~ Idols don't need to be smart
~ Stronger
~ マイリーダー (My Leader)
~ L is for... [#1 | #2 | #3]
~ Truth or Dare [1 & 2]
~ Operation Jeannie
~ Their Relationship & His Laugh, His Smile
~ Lemon and Mint
~ The Biggest Fan
~ Not Like That
~ Patience
~ The Shadow/Leader





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